the early bird gets the early worm

i don't know if this is really true. the early worm gets caught in this case. what if i'm the early worm?

i woke up very early this morning, about 12:30 am. i woke up from a very bad dream [not really very bad but i didn't like it]. it would be better if i keep it inside...

i remained lying still, trying to forget the dream, thinking of the molecular formula of caustic potash and salt peter. i thought it was already 3 am. but it was just 12:45. i had to sleep more.

i was half asleep, half awake at 2:30 am. i took my chem filler and looked at the page where the trade names of chemicals are listed. i stared at it, hardly memorizing, but soon fell asleep again.

3 am. i was wide awake. i haven't reviewed stoichiometry, trade names, balancing equations, and many more lessons in chem. then i started to review everything, from trade names to stoich to percent yield. i understood the ion-electron method maybe for the second time, or the first.

i feel a bit more confident about chem right now than the early minutes of this day. but look at me. posting my second pure english post in this blog. how emo.

am i an early bird? or an early worm? i don't know...

i need to review more english and more chem. sparknotes is nice. i got 21/25 in the quiz about siddhartha. good enough but not very good.

>> awww...i remember the time when i was in the library, reading the part when siddhartha was going to plunge his body into the water when he heard the voice within him. my heart was throbbing as if it was trying to get out of my chest. my hands were cold and sweaty as i thought about myself and my efforts to change myself. i always postpone my "schedule of changing into the real me". ugh. it's so hard, especially when you think that changing might not be normal to the thoughts of people around you.

:'(